M. Steingass —  30.7.14

I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. I live in disgrace. Forced to watch what happens.

These days remind me – once again – about the fulminant lie at the heart of what happens to be me. Once when I was young it was SS 20 and Pershing impressing me with an ultimate paradox (of this life). Later, one of many instances, there was the pocket of Sarajevo (and Tschechnia, and Ruanda, and) when you would shoot randomly mortars from the surrounding mountains. Today it was a market in Shejaiya, in Gaza. Killed 17, buying food, hearing the screeching sound of the incoming bomb. And the thump of thy voice of death: […]. A second later the screaming of the living.

I don’t believe. The horror of Treblinka is. It is all there is. The righteous tell me otherwise, but I don’t believe. You are a lie. And we live in disgrace. You – the G20, the WEF, the Capital, you fuckards, all the determining institutions  – tell me otherwise, but the Real is: we all live in disgrace!

And therefore I must burn my self. Sitting in silence burning this me you constructed. Becoming a heap of smoldering ashes. Praying nothing will remain of this errant pile of shit you are.